It’s been just over three months since BB made his way in to the world with the loudest and longest cry ever. Prior to his entrance, Paul and I had many a conversation about how this would probably be the one of the most difficult years of our lives so far. A newborn, a two year, Paul working very long hours, no support network … we were exhausted at the mere thought of it. Friends had warned us that a second child would equal double the work and we’d have no time for ourselves or each other whatsoever. We were nervous to say the least.
And the reality?
Well, so far it’s not actually been that bad (I’ve probably just jinxed it by saying that, haven’t I?).
BB is such a happy, relaxed baby and although he’s no where sleeping through the night yet, when he does wake up to feed, he does so without any fuss and then goes straight back to sleep. CK has been a little bit trickier to deal with. I don’t know whether it’s a reaction to his new brother or just general toddlerdom but tantrums have been a little more frequent, whines a little louder and early wake ups one too many. But beneath all that, he’s still my gorgeous, strong-willed, brave little boy.
The biggest contributor to this relatively easy-going atmosphere though is how much more relaxed I feel the second time around. With CK, I was pretty much scared of everything and not sure of anything. I was reluctant to bathe him on my own in case I dropped him; I picked him up the moment he murmured fearing there was something horribly wrong with him; I couldn’t leave him by himself to make myself a drink. And we live in an open plan house! It was a nightmare. I was a nightmare. I poured over baby books and websites. Did the whole showing him picture books at two months and flash cards at three months. Complete and utter rubbish!
With BB, I’m much more laid back and that makes me a better mother to both of them. Whereas once I thought it was a drama to leave the house with just one child, in the first week of looking after both of them by myself, we went out to buy new clothes for CK and then for lunch. I figured I’d throw myself in at the deep end and while it wasn’t a completely stress free outing, it was enjoyable.
And time for ourselves and each other? This has returned in the past week or so. Both boys are comfortably tucked up or swaddled up in their own beds and mostly asleep by 8pm, giving us a couple of hours of sleepily staring at the TV or the computer before we wearily lift our bottoms off the sofa and shuffle in to bed. Throw in the odd glass of wine at the weekend to make us feel like we still have a bit of a social life and we’re not too badly off at all.
So three months in and I’d say that all is as well as it can be.