The second time around

It’s been just over three months since BB made his way in to the world with the loudest and longest cry ever. Prior to his entrance, Paul and I had many a conversation about how this would probably be the one of the most difficult years of our lives so far. A newborn, a two year, Paul working very long hours, no support network … we were exhausted at the mere thought of it. Friends had warned us that a second child would equal double the work and we’d have no time for ourselves or each other whatsoever. We were nervous to say the least.

And the reality?

Well, so far it’s not actually been that bad (I’ve probably just jinxed it by saying that, haven’t I?).

BB is such a happy, relaxed baby and although he’s no where sleeping through the night yet, when he does wake up to feed, he does so without any fuss and then goes straight back to sleep. CK has been a little bit trickier to deal with. I don’t know whether it’s a reaction to his new brother or just general toddlerdom but tantrums have been a little more frequent, whines a little louder and early wake ups one too many. But beneath all that, he’s still my gorgeous, strong-willed, brave little boy.

The biggest contributor to this relatively easy-going atmosphere though is how much more relaxed I feel the second time around. With CK, I was pretty much scared of everything and not sure of anything. I was reluctant to bathe him on my own in case I dropped him; I picked him up the moment he murmured fearing there was something horribly wrong with him; I couldn’t leave him by himself to make myself a drink. And we live in an open plan house! It was a nightmare. was a nightmare. I poured over baby books and websites. Did the whole showing him picture books at two months and flash cards at three months. Complete and utter rubbish!

With BB, I’m much more laid back and that makes me a better mother to both of them. Whereas once I thought it was  a drama to leave the house with just one child, in the first week of looking after both of them by myself, we went out to buy new clothes for CK and then for lunch. I figured I’d throw myself in at the deep end and while it wasn’t a completely stress free outing, it was enjoyable.

And time for ourselves and each other? This has returned in the past week or so. Both boys are comfortably tucked up or swaddled up in their own beds and mostly asleep by 8pm, giving us a couple of hours of sleepily staring at the TV or the computer before we wearily lift our bottoms off the sofa and shuffle in to bed. Throw in the odd glass of wine at the weekend to make us feel like we still have a bit of a social life and we’re not too badly off at all.

So three months in and I’d say that all is as well as it can be.

The two of them CKThe two of them BB

25 thoughts on “The second time around

  1. Wow how is BB 3 months already!! I was exactly the same with z, completely terrified of everything! I am hoping I am much more relaxed with a second baby and hopefully that will makes things a lot easier. Love the photos!

  2. Lovely post! It is so much easier the second time around – you are so much more chilled and that makes your baby so much more chilled too. It’s hard balancing the demands of a baby with a toddler though. My eldest has always been the hard work and still is at nearly 12!

  3. Lovely, lovely photos – you do look very relaxed. So glad to hear that you have found it more relaxing – and that you feel much more laid back second time around. They do say that with the first child mums tend to be a lot more neurotic and worrying – I was awful – stressed over everything – I blame half the sill y books I read. If I had a second – I know I would do things very differently!!!! X.

  4. I felt way more exhausted with just the toddler. I think it’s because you go through the shock of having your sleep halved while also having to learn everything from scratch. You can really enjoy it second time around.

  5. You’re right, you really can enjoy your baby much more once you stop worrying about everything. You can focus on all the nice moments instead.

  6. I feel very sleepy but very chilled. The age gap between them is quite a small one – just two years and three months – and while tricky right now, I think it’ll get easier and easier when the get older.

  7. You are absolutely right! It feels like the washing machine is third child, all the attention I give it.

  8. I was petrified. I thought it would be the most difficult thing in the world. Maybe at times it will be but I think we’ll get through them.

  9. I’ve not read any books or any websites this time around and feel much better for it. It was weaning that really tested my nerves. CK was a big baby and all the books/sites suggested that I should start at 4 months. He wouldn’t accept anything other than breast milk til gone 7 months and I was convinced he would waste away. Needless to say, he didn’t, and he’s still a big boy.

  10. Glad to hear it’s going so well! I would hope that if we had a second child it would have to be a good sleeper otherwise it wouldn’t be fair. :0) Can’t believe it’s 3 months since you had him. x x

  11. Three months has gone by so quickly. Yes, I really worried about having another wild one. Not sure I’d be blogging anymore if BB was like CK. I’d be an exhausted wreck.

  12. Yes, we’ve been looking back at old photographs and the boys are virtually identical. Same mannerisms as well. I have a constant sense of deja vu.

  13. Lovely post and I loved looking at the pics of the two boys. I didn’t think mine were too similiar but yesterday I sat and compared like for like photos and it’s hard to tell the difference between them! So glad you’re getting an evening – it makes all the difference I find. EB has always been great at going down..such a relief as his brother never was. So nice this time around to know come 8pm it’s child free time.

  14. Oh my goodness your boys are beautiful! *beats of any thoughts of broodiness*… Do you know, I definitely found it much easier the second time around. You know what to do for a start, and the second baby just kind of fits in! :)

  15. Those child-free evening times are precious, aren’t they? I love my boys but I love a couple of hours of peace and quiet simply to sit and relax.

  16. Knowing what to do has played a huge part in me feeling so relaxed. I don’t function very well when I have lots of questions and am unsure of things. I’m not very good when I don’t feel that I have things under control.

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